New Years Eve, To most of us it means starting the beginning of a New year with New Years resolutions, new ideas, a fresh start, new goals, enjoying friends and family this evening and so on. Yes, I will be bringing in the New Year with my hubby and a few of our amazing friends. I do have goals for business and personal in 2020 and yes it will be my best year yet.
But today, right now at this very moment and since I woke this morning. What I am thinking of, dreading and wishing things could just be different. Is the marking of another year without my daughter. Another birthday, another Mothers day, another Easter. This new year will mark 4 years of her passing. Her son will celebrate another birthday, more Holidays, more school events without his Mom. For most this is the most wonderful time of year. For me, not so much! I try my hardest to move forward and I do. I try every single day to be positive and upbeat and get things in my life accomplished and I try super hard to live my best life!
What helps me get through it, I cry and break down and just let it flow out. Some days like today last all day, some days I can pull my shit together. The hard truth is, it never ever goes away. It is something I carry with me in my heart, soul and mind every single moment of every single day. I blog about my feelings to help me let it out. Also in the hopes it gives others strength to get through their hard days and moments. I also want people to know that everyone has a story, so when you see someone who you think is being rude or not paying attention or just not being what you think they should be being. Be super nice to them! You can't see the battles and demons they fight on a daily. Show them love, say hi or just simply smile. You may make the difference they are so desperately needing.
Much love, Have a Safe and Happy New Years!