Updated: Dec 14, 2018

Recently a very good friend of mine asked me to come do a video and talk about how I get through the holidays and it gave me the inspiration to do this blog today. (video link below) The Holidays are usually filled with a joyful, can't wait to see the kids open there gifts, can't wait to see all the family and eat the Amazing food we get stuffed on. However for some, its not joyful at all. There are many people who are alone, deployed, have lost loved ones, have illnesses, or are homeless. Life has a way of kicking you while your down and then kicking you again. Most of us have family and friends that help with baring some of the pain or at-least distracting us from it for a moment or two. Not everyone is that lucky.....

The first year my girl wasn't here with us was the absolute hardest. I did not want to celebrate anything. I spent my first Mothers Day at the gym working out. I did not go to my Grandmother's for any family events like Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays. I just could not bare it. It hurt to pick up my phone and want to text or call her, it hurt to think any minute she will walk through the door, just to realize no she really wont. It hurt to know my beautiful Grandson will not see or enjoy any of this with his Mom ever again. No matter who was mad at who or what has gone on in life it was a guarantee that no matter what we will be at my Grandmas for the Holidays. As if all this is not already bad enough, I realize I wont see her beautiful smile or hear her voice or her laugh ever again. Holidays have always been important to me, my kids and family.

And then BOOM it all changes! I woke up one day and it was all different. Every aspect of my life, of my being, of my soul, of my heart and of my mind was different. I was no longer that Mom that made sure everyone showed up, no longer that Mom who always looked like she had her shit together, no longer that Mom who wanted to go on with anything in life. So not only has my life changed forever I had to change with it. After the first year it became a battle of survival.

So I changed, I changed the things I use to do to what I do now. I changed the way I start my day, things I do through out the day, I changed how and what I think about. When your life, soul and heart are shattered into a million pieces what else can you do but to rebuild it in a different way. I began doing alot of walking, meeting new people who inspire me, I do self help, self perception, meditation and write my thoughts down. I use the Passion Planner, I'm rebuilding my business, my life, my everything. I had to figure why I wanted to continue with Pure Romance, what can I do to help others and so much more.

My first Thanksgiving without her I did nothing, my husband cooked and tried to make it the best he could for me but we stayed home and did not go to Grandmas like usual. My first Christmas without her, we still wanted to do for the Grandkids but I needed it to be different to. So we went to the zoo instead of having our typical family dinner. My second Thanksgiving I decided I needed to do something more, so I volunteered at a Thanksgiving community dinner, I made food to take and I served and talked to people who came. I now do this every year and this year I was asked to be on the board. It makes me feel amazing to give back to our community. This is my third holiday season without my girl and it will be the first Christmas I spend at our usual family dinner with my Grandma and family.

My reason for telling you this, is not only does it help me. I want it to help you. I want you to know you are not alone, your amazing and you can make it through. Changing your mind from a negative to a positive is hard and even after almost 3 years for me its still a work in progress. I still have my memories and I know my girl will always be with me..... xoxo

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