THURSDAY, JUNE 28, 2018 Growing up my girl had a complete mind of her own. As far back as when I was pregnant with her she always had a sassy attitude. When I was pregnant she would get under my right rib and stay there almost every night when I went to bed. She was always head strong and new what she wanted with her eyes rolling and a prissy attitude all the way. Which is why I started calling her Miss Priss, over the years as she got older it became Priss. She was so easy as a baby and child. She would even go lay down and take her nap or go to bed when she was tired. She very seldom cried or pitched a fit. Of course like most kids she did have her moments with attitude, hand on hip and some eye rolling going on. Sherri was smart in school, always ahead of her class. She loved to read and watch scary movies to scare her brother with. Freddie was her favorite to torment Darnell with. She had no fear for anything and I knew one day she would take on the world and succeed at life. Our life was not easy, I was 18 when I had Sherri, 18 when I moved in with my now ex-husband. 20 when I married him, 20 when I had my son 12 weeks premature. He was 2 pounds 9 ounces. Darnell spent months in the hospital then when he finally got to come home it was with a Apna monitor that monitored his breathing. A nurse came out weekly for 3 months. Darnell cried almost the entire first year of his life, nothing made him happy except riding in the truck and heaven for bid if you have to stop at a red light or stop sign he would totally cry again. Then when he did sleep the monitor would go off all night because Darnell was breathing so shallow. So there was almost no sleep for me during that year. A month after Darnell came home he got RSV, that was super scary, he quit breathing while I was driving and I had to do cpr until we got to Hospital. They life flighted him to Jax and he was there for a few weeks. My ex-husband was not supportive at all and we literately fought all the time. Sometimes it was physical and it was always mental and ugly. Darnell Sr was very controlling, jealous and manipulative. If I got a job he would actually come to my job and show out so I would get fired. He never offered any help and when my son was diagnosed with CP by 3 Specialist he was in complete denial and wanted more opinions. This was really the worst time of my life. Nothing I did was right ever! I went into a very bad depression (which started at 11 yrs old). I had absolutely no desire to do anything, I didn't want to clean, do laundry, it was a very ugly time in our life. I took care of Sherri and Darnell mainly because I’m Mom and that’s what Mom’s do. Life with Darnell Sr never got easier. Everything got worse! He started using drugs, lost his job, spent all of our money and I went to jail for writing checks to pay bills to only find out he took the money out. We moved to Georgia to get him away from the drug scene, he found them there to. Left me and the kids in Georgia for a week with nothing, no money, no car, nothing. When he came and got us and we got back home (Florida) I dropped him off and went to my Mom’s. To make a very long story short (there was so so much more) Darnell Sr. went to jail and ended up in a mental hospital then prison for 12 years. This, This was my saving grace! I got divorced finally at the age of 26. During the 8 years of hell I tried my hardest to keep the fighting and things away from the kids. However that didn’t always happen. My daughter seen so much more than I knew and even the things that I did know should have been my wake up call. As parents we try to keep our kids from seeing or knowing about all the abuse and fights but honestly the only way to do that is to get out of it. I was so depressed and mentally beat down I honestly thought I deserved to be treated this way and those times I started to leave he would convince me that if I had not done this then he wouldn't have done that and the game of manipulation began. He made me believe if I left no one would want me or I couldn't do it without him and what about our son and so on. He actually pretended to try and take his own life one time after I left him so the guilt began and he made me believe the only thing to save him was me coming back. So I went back, and as the normal nothing changed. The depression part didn't help either, I felt worthless like I was the absolute worst wife, person and parent. This is a picture of my daughter and son....

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